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DIALOGUE: Corporate America
written on Thursday, Apr. 24, 2003

So my guy was half-dead waking up this morning. He had to get into work *by* 8AM in order to listen to the CEO's fiscal year end speech. Or something.

Below is the dialogue that commenced this morning:

Him: zzz *drool on self*

Me: :D

Me: Was the CEO's speech everything you expected and more?

Him: it's still going

Him: mostly it's some new marketing elite-drone

Me: oh, heh

Me: Is it pre-recorded?

Him: he's going on about some sort of ecosystem

Him: no.

Him: blah blah leadership blah acronym blah blah ecosystem blah objective blah blah blah partner blah trust blah blah core focus blah blah blah blah under the table blah blah blah

Me: jot them down.. these are the buzzwords of your new career in ass-kissing :D

Him: i should just do ass-kissing. it's lower hours and more pay.

Me: indeed

Him: blah blah linkage blah crossfunctional teamwork blah blah objective blah blah validation and quantitative bleh bleh 2.6 billion blah blah ultimate objective, dominant player bleh bleh space bleh that space bleh this space bleh bleh

Him: bleh traction! bleh

Me: hahahah

Him: bleh key components bleh [product] bleh bleh appliance bleh bleh

Him: new bobblehead. this is [woman], [guy] the boss's boss

Me: huh?

Him: productize bleh bleh bleh

Him: new person on phone

Me: oh

Him: oh, and did i mention that there's so much tight assedness that we're not even hiring interns this summer

Me: Somehow I don't think the words "tight assedness" were anywhere in that speech. :D

Me: Though they probably should be.

Him: indeed

Him: heh q&a now

Him: sounds like a radio show

Him: "Hi, Mike from Boston..."

Me: heh

Me: "Hi. Bob from Dallas. My kid asked me if my company is really evil. What should I tell him?"

Him: heh

Me: "Hi. Jane from New York. Where do babies come from?"

Him: 'robust inline update process'

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